Herbie: Fully Loaded

Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005)
Director: Angela Robinson
Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Michael Keaton, Matt Dillon, Breckin Meyer

Herbie: Fully Loaded was made to bring the classic Volkswagen Beetle, star of many films in the 70s and 80s, to a new generation of movie-goers. And of course, to reel in the pre-teen audiences, they got Lindsay Lohan to star in it. OK, fair enough.


I've never seen any of the other Herbie films, and after seing this one I can't say I want to. They're probably better movies than this one, but I have one main problem with the whole concept - I don't like the idea of a car that is practically human. I just don't. Herbie can see (and we get several shots from his perspective as well), move on his own, do many tricks that ordinary cars can't do, smile, look angry, even fall in love (no, I'm not kidding). From the very beginning of the film we see what Herbie is capable of, which here involves hitting, pushing, and squirting oil at a scrapyard owner. For eight-year-old kids, this is no doubt hilarious. Once you hit puberty, the humour is that kind of thing wears off.

So that was my first problem. I think I don't like the idea of a 'human' car because it's live action, not animated. I mean, Disney Pixar's new film Cars is all about talking, thinking cars. That's fine, because it's animated. When it's live action it just feels wrong. Also, I'm just really not interested in cars and racing, at all, and since that's what the film was all about, it didn't really do anything for me.

The story is pretty predictable and the script is incredibly formulaic. Basically, Maggie Peyton, youngest in a long line of racing heroes, finds Herbie in a scrapyard, and ends up racing (and winning) in a street race against the one of the top racing car drivers there is, then goes on to race in a big NASCAR race. Oh, and on the way she gains Daddy's approval, gets a new boyfriend and learns lessons about friendship, teamwork, family, blah, blah, blah. Typical Disney schlock.

The acting is not bad, although the awful script doesn't give them much to work with. Lindsay Lohan, as spoilt Hollywood princessy as she is, can act. She can. And she does look nice in this film, which was made before she went all blonde and stick-thin.The bottom line is, the performances are acceptable but nothing special.

I laughed (and not really laughed, but chuckled mildly) three times during this movie. For a comedy, that's not very good. At all. But it's because all the jokes are aimed at moronic little kids.

Another reason I think this movie doesn't work (I'm being so positive, aren't I?) is the fact that mainly young girls are going to see this because of Lindsay Lohan (it's not exactly marketed towards boys, either), but the whole movie is about cars and racing and driving, which, in general, young girls aren't all that interested in. So it doesn't really work for anyone, unless you're a ten-year-old Lindsay Lohan fan who loves cars. You'd probably like it then. And I'm sorry, but that's going to be quite a small target audience.

Overall, if you really have nothing else to do and you enjoy bad Disney family movies, then see it. If not, avoid it. It actually reminded me of all those Mary Kate and Ashley movies, you know, the ones that went straight to video because they weren't good enough to be released in the cinemas? Replace Miss Lohan with the twins and bingo! It could be right up there with Holiday in the Sun and Passport to Paris.


C-


Talliestar


Charisma: Anyway, I thought I'd come back to start our road trip early.
Maggie: Slight problem. I promised I'd meet a friend out in the desert.
Charisma: Why? Are you burying a body?

(Note: this was one of the lines I laughed at. Also, what the hell is up with the name Charisma????)